The story.
Warning: There is a graphic picture below this story that was taken during the procedure. (ok, now that you've been warned, back to the story......)
Right after Korver was born, one night, Rex and I were sitting in the NICU with him, I was admiring every single little piece of this brand new piece of heaven we had just gotten.
I was telling Rex how perfect his fingers and toes were. How cute his little button nose was and how badly I wanted him to have Rex's gorgeous blue eyes, I was going on and on about how perfect and cute he was when he turned his head and I noticed his neck had a little teeny tiny mark on it. I tried to rub it off, thinking it was from all the glue & stuff they'd been using to hold his monitors on with. I kinda shrugged it off, thinking it was just from all the stress of being born.
The next morning we went down to hold him again, and I couldn't help but notice it again (after worrying about it all night). This time it appeared to be more than just a little red mark. It looked as though he had an extremely small dimple in his neck. So I asked the nurse about it and she suggested we talk with the pediatrician.
The pediatrician suggested we take him to an Ear, nose and throat doctor (ENT) once we were out of the hospital, to have it further examined. So, after all the worry, when Korver was 2 weeks old, we took him in, and the ENT told us he had what is called a Branchial cleft cyst which is a cavity that's part of a remnant from when they are developing in the womb. It's usually present on the neck or in the armpit at birth. The only way to know if it has an ACTUAL cyst on it, is when they do the surgery. So, he said that we'd need to schedule the surgery when he's around about 10 months of age.
He said if we didn't get it removed then it could get bigger and he would develop infections very frequently in the winter and they could develop an abscess on them which could be cancerous. Then it gets very painful and there is a good chance it would keep reoccurring. So the best option would be to remove it while he was little and hope they can get everything, and hope that the cyst or abscess is very small at this point.
So......wide eyed and panic setting in me at this point. I agreed and we scheduled some follow up appointments before the big day. I left the office and cried the whole way home. I was scared to death. Did he REALLY just say the "S" word that no MOTHER wants to hear which involves someone doing something to my baby other than ooohhing and ahhhhing over how cute he is???? I was not reassured. I was panicked. For those of you who know me, know that I do NOT do well with any type of pain or trauma, ESPECIALLY to my children. I was thinking of every possible worst case scenario. I was a wreck.
Rex and I talked about it and decided we knew we needed to proceed forward. We did some asking around about the ENT 's here in Logan and what our best options were going to be. We ended up sticking with the one who originally saw Korver. From that point on, we just had to wait for him to be old enough and that dreadful day to arrive......and it did.
The day before......the hospital had called me and told me how everything would work, I had to go in and sign a bunch of papers and have them take some pre-surgery stats and then they explained what I needed to do that next day when we brought him in. I did pretty well until I looked down and realized the paper I just signed was a DNR and whether or not to donate your organs. I flipped. I was not signed up for this. That little mark on his neck was literally the size of a pin hole. It was TINY. There is no way they think I'm signing a paper about what to do if my child DIES!!!!!! It was like a horrible dream. The nurse could tell I was a little distraught and she explained it was just procedure with anytime they perform a surgery. I was still freaking out. Then, they began talking about what would happen when it was time to head back for the surgery and she informed me that I wouldn't be able to go with him. I would have to hand him off to the nurse and wait for him in the waiting room!! I was scared to death. I was dreading this. I was trying so hard to hold my composure together. To pretend this wasn't going to happen but I knew the inevitable was coming.
I kept thinking this could be so much worse. We could be dealing with a lot more serious issues and I should be thankful it isn't something life threatening.......but it was to me. ESPECIALLY when I'm signing a DNR and donating your organs papers!!!! It's all I could think about, how OUR baby would be at the hands of these complete strangers and I am trusting his life to them.
Then the thoughts and questions started running through my mind: Who will hold his hand and look into his eyes and promise him he'll be ok? Who will kiss him when he cries because of the massive needle they are going to put in his tiny little hand? Who will be there when he opens his eyes for the first time and is scared? All these thoughts ran through my head a million times. I couldn't focus on anything.
Rex came home from work and he could tell I wasn't myself. I didn't let Korver out of my sight. I was picking him up everywhere I went. I gave him 3 million kisses that day. I didn't want to put him to bed. I wanted to lay by him all night. I cried as I rocked him to sleep that night. I prayed with him and promised him that I would do everything I could to make sure he would be ok.
We had decided earlier that we wanted to give him a blessing that night. We got Cameron in there with us and Rex laid his hands on Korver's head. It was overpowering to hear the things he was saying. Tears streaming down my face, I couldn't help but notice Cameron kneeling there folding his arms, listening so intently, Korver wasn't moving a muscle and all you could hear was the spirit taking over and bringing comfort into his room that night. I knew at that very second that all my thoughts and questions that had been running through my head earlier that day were being answered. Someone WOULD be with him in those moments he needed me. It was amazing.
The next morning came just as I knew it would and we got him all ready to go and we left for the hospital. Korver was as happy as could be. It killed me inside knowing what was coming. I prayed the whole way to the hospital just clutching Rex's hand. He reassured me multiple times that everything would be fine and soon enough we'd be back home and things would be back to normal.
The nurse brought us the gown and little booties and had us dress him. Then the Dr came in and explained how everything would work and what the complications could be, then he informed us that he had just performed this operation a week prior and that it ended up being worse than they thought. The patient was just a little smaller than Korver and it ended up taking 3 hours to remove it because the abscess was so big that it was touching his tonsils. (ok, it was official, the Dr had panicked me.) He said that he only tells us this because he really has no idea what he's dealing with until he begins the surgery. Then he tells us that babies usually wake up from the anesthesia and are very disoriented. That we would wonder what he had done with our baby because of how he would be acting. He said I would hear him crying as they brought him down the hall and that we should be prepared for him to be very irritable. So with that being said, they had us gather our things and walk down the hall to where they would be taking him.
As the nurse tells us we can't go beyond this point, I hand over our baby and they take him. We go to the waiting room and Rex takes one look at me and I lose it. I couldn't stop the tears. I knew he was going to be ok, but there is just something about knowing your child is in pain, that just tears at your heart as a parent. That wait felt like the LONGEST wait in my life. I looked at the clock fifty zillion times. 10 minutes, 25 minutes, 40 minutes, 55 minutes It couldn't pass fast enough. Then after one hour, the Dr appears around the corner with a smile on his face. I have never been so happy to see him......
He was carrying a picture they had taken during the surgery. It was insane. I couldn't stop staring at it. That was our baby's neck!! He then said, Korver did amazing in surgery. He didn't even cry when they put the IV in. He did great as we operated and the amazing part was.....there was NO CYST at all. He said that didn't happen very often, and that Korver's was an extremely easy removal and it shouldn't ever come back. So all it was is a :Branchial cleft sinus. He said it went perfectly and they got everything. He even mentioned how much the nurses all adored him. I couldn't have let out a bigger sigh of relief. I knew our prayers had been answered.
He said he was still asleep and when he woke up, we would know it, and that we just had to wait a little longer to see him.....That felt like an eternity.
Just then a nurse came around the corner and asked if we were Korver's parents, she said she just wanted to tell us how perfect he was and what an adorable lil' guy he was. She was smiling so big...and then another nurse from the desk was pointing and another nurse appeared and she was holding Korver...... He wasn't' making a sound. She said he woke up and was as content as could be. He was just staring up and moving his hands around. She said she was amazed because usually kids struggle so much but she said he was just like an angel laying there.
Right then I said a prayer in my heart and thanked Heavenly Father for being there with him when I couldn't be. It was such a touching moment for me. I looked at Rex and just smiled.
I thought all day about how thankful I am for the gospel and that we have the knowledge we have. I don't know where I'd be without it and how thankful I was to be able to experience such a tender mercy from him that day. As we walked out, the whole desk of nurses said how sweet that little boy was and that everyone back there loved him. I couldn't have asked for anything to go any better than it did. ;
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![Rex+Julie+Cameron+Korver...[Kings]](http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_y8XsUSvV_8k/R47b1QGZkbI/AAAAAAAAAHs/pFWw4puTNVA/S660/BlogHeader.bmp){kind=small}
